Pet loss and running

There’s no correlation between pet loss and running. I made up that title only because I have no motivation to make it snappier. Hell, I’d like to call it ‘I had to put my pet to sleep yesterday and now I hate everything’.

It has been a heart wrenching ordeal. My dog Nikki was my first baby. She was attached to my hip and I was pretty much attached to hers. There’s no where I could walk in this house without her following me, even when she got old and had trouble walking. She was the sweetest, funniest dog in the world. I will never forget the time that we had together. My family and even extended family loved her dearly. She will be deeply missed ❤️

We had to put her to sleep. My mom thinks she died a minute before the injection. She was really suffering yesterday. It happened pretty fast. She collapsed in the morning after going outside and 5 hours later, she was having a really hard time breathing. 2 hours later, she was gone. We used an at home euthanasia service recommended by our vet. The doctor and the service were exactly what we needed. I didn’t have to take Nikki out, she was comfortable in her bed and surrounded by the people who loved her most. She was 13 and lived a good life with us (and us with her).

This morning, I called in sick from work. My eyes were still swollen the size of golf balls and I still burst into tears at any given moment. I figured it’s probably best to get in a run even though I only wanted to sit in my bed and cry. I ran 3. But, it didn’t stop my sadness like I hoped. Maybe while I was running, because my mind was focused on finishing. But, I walked into my empty house after the run and cried. I showered and decided to keep busy by going to a Yoga class. I almost cried there too.

Ugh. I can’t escape this awful sadness. I plan to run again tomorrow. Maybe it’ll help.

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